Customers from Hell: Five Do’s and Don’ts for Calming Cranky Customers

Jeff Mowatt

Feb 3, 2019

By Jeff Mowatt

Perhaps you’ve noticed that customers are becoming increasingly hostile. Case in point was the highly publicized incident where a patron in a fast food restaurant became so enraged that he attacked the restaurant manager. The customer spilled his coffee on his breakfast and when the manager refused to replace the meal, the ensuing argument led to violence that ended with the customer being arrested.

It seems in our fast-paced frenetic world customers are now more tired, rushed, stressed, and downright fed up. That’s why in my customer service seminars both managers and frontline employees frequently ask me how to handle the proverbial customer from hell. Here are five do’s and don’ts for calming cranky customers.

1. Do consider the big picture. Don’t focus on the single transaction

The fast food fisticuffs could have been avoided if the restaurant manager (better yet the frontline employee) would have cheerfully replaced the patron’s meal for free. The incremental cost to the restaurant would have been nominal, and the loyalty and subsequent return on investment would have been substantial. Instead, the manager took the low road and focused on the cost of the meal and the fact that it wasn’t the restaurant’s fault. The guy should have been a litigator; he certainly wasn’t a business person.

2. Do acknowledge feelings. Don’t say, “Calm Down.” Ever

Can you think of a single example in the history of the world when telling somebody to calm down did anything other than make things worse? Me neither. It’s never appropriate to tell someone how they should feel. On the contrary, you’ll improve their demeanour by validating their feelings with empathic statements like, “That sounds frustrating.”

3. Do ask the four Ws. Don’t ask “Why”

When a customer has a problem and you need the pertinent details, ask the four Ws:  who, what, where, and  when. But avoid asking why. Generally, the response to why something went wrong is that someone was inept. Imagine asking a customer, “Why didn’t you read the instructions?” This is not constructive and just makes things worse.

4. Do apologize for foul-ups. Don’t over explain

Over the 20 years that I’ve written and delivered customized customer service seminars, I’ve discovered that the main reason customers become irritated is simple — the organization broke a promise, one that was either expressed or implied. Telling a customer, “I’ll call you back,” then neglecting to do so is called lying. If we normally complete a project in three days, and this time it takes three weeks, we are now breaking an implied promise. In both cases the customer didn’t get what they expected so we need to apologize. It’s also helpful to give them something extra to make up for the customer’s hassle factor. If there are extenuating circumstances, then give the customer a brief explanation. But keep it short. Going into lengthy details about why you couldn’t keep your end of the bargain sounds like trying to rationalize poor service. It only makes matters worse.

5. Do be respectful. Don’t become a doormat

Some customers are not at their best when they get angry. They can shout, swear, cry, or become abusive. That does not give us license to react in kind. We do need to be respectful. We don’t need to kowtow. Imagine a customer, upset about a late delivery, swearing at a supplier on the phone. In that case the supplier would do well to respond with something like, “Sir, I want to help you. Using that language however, is preventing me from focusing on resolving this issue. So I’m going to ask you to stop using that language so we can focus on fixing the problem.” If the customer continues with the verbal abuse, close the conversation with, “Sir, as I explained earlier I want to help you, but I can’t help you when you’re using that kind of language. I’m going to hang up now, but please call back when you can talk to me without using that language. Goodbye.” Then go immediately to your supervisor and give them the details of the conversation. That way, they’ll be forewarned when the customer calls back demanding to talk with the manager.

Bottom line: have some empathy

Who among us can claim that as a customer, we’ve never been terse or worse with a service representative who was in no way responsible for the foul-up? Some customers are cranky because stuff happens in their lives that has nothing to do with you. So before becoming too self-righteous or casting proverbial stones at those miserable customers, we’d do well to put ourselves in their shoes.

It’s also worth remembering that if work was supposed to be fun they wouldn’t need to pay us. Dealing with upset customers sometimes comes with the territory. Fortunately, by learning to handle difficult customers well, you’ll make them even more loyal than before the foul-up. That makes the job less stressful and more rewarding for everyone.

This article is based on the bestselling book, Influence with Ease by Hall of Fame motivational speaker, Jeff Mowatt. To obtain your own copy of his book or to inquire about engaging Jeff for your team, visit www.jeffmowatt.com.

Related Articles


Latest Articles

  • ESA has Identified Increasing Safety Concern Surrounding Meter Base Installations

    ESA has Identified Increasing Safety Concern Surrounding Meter Base Installations

    April 18, 2025 ESA and EFC are raising awareness on an increasing safety concern the ESA has identified surrounding meter base installations. ESA identified an increase of installed meter bases where the neutral block is isolated from the enclosure. According to OESC Rule 10-210 a bonding conductor must be installed between the meter base and… Read More…

  • Non-residential Construction Investment Continues to Reach Record Highs in January 2025

    Non-residential Construction Investment Continues to Reach Record Highs in January 2025

    April 18, 2025 Overall, investment in building construction rose 1.8% (+$393.7 million) to $22.1 billion in January. The residential sector increased 2.3% to $15.4 billion, while the non-residential sector was up 0.8% to $6.7 billion. Year over year, investment in building construction grew 5.7% in January. On a constant dollar basis (2017=100), investment in building construction increased 1.5% from the previous month to $13.2 billion… Read More…

  • BC Non-Residential Drives Growth, Multi-Family Component Drives Residential Decline in February Building Permits

    BC Non-Residential Drives Growth, Multi-Family Component Drives Residential Decline in February Building Permits

    April 18, 2025 In February, the total value of building permits issued in Canada increased by $371.3 million (+2.9%) to $13.1 billion. Gains in construction intentions were led by British Columbia’s non-residential sector. On a constant dollar basis (2017=100), the total value of building permits issued in February grew 3.2% from the previous month and was up 5.6% on… Read More…

  • Navigating Tariffs: Practical Strategies for ECABC Members

    Navigating Tariffs: Practical Strategies for ECABC Members

    April 18, 2025 Canadian businesses are facing uncertain and unprecedented risks created by tariffs on Canadian goods from the United States. The combination of the economic impact to BC’s economy from these tariffs, and the potential increase in the cost of construction materials and equipment as Canada is forced to respond with retaliatory tariffs, has… Read More…


Changing Scene

  • Ontario Introduces Legistlation to Unlock Trade and Labour Mobility Within Canada

    Ontario Introduces Legistlation to Unlock Trade and Labour Mobility Within Canada

    April 18, 2025 As a next step in its plan to protect Ontario by unleashing the province’s economy, the Ontario government is introducing the Protect Ontario through Free Trade within Canada Act to unlock free trade and labour mobility within Canada. This legislation will, if passed, create new opportunities for job creation and investment attraction, supporting economic… Read More…

  • Ontario, P.E.I. Join Nova Scotia With Legislation to Remove Internal Trade Barriers

    Ontario, P.E.I. Join Nova Scotia With Legislation to Remove Internal Trade Barriers

    April 18, 2025 Prince Edward Island and Ontario have joined the Nova Scotia by introducing reciprocal legislation that will help foster an environment of mutual recognition of goods, services and labour mobility between these provinces. “Leaders across the country are expressing interest in removing trade barriers, and I’m very pleased that P.E.I. and Ontario have… Read More…

  • New Brunswick Signs MOU with Ontario to Reduce Trade and Labour Mobility Barriers

    New Brunswick Signs MOU with Ontario to Reduce Trade and Labour Mobility Barriers

    April 18, 2025 The governments of New Brunswick and Ontario have signed a memorandum of understanding on free trade and labour mobility. “Ontario is New Brunswick’s second-biggest trading partner, and we are excited to be building on the positive momentum to reduce internal trade barriers across Canada,” said Premier Susan Holt. “Today’s signing of this… Read More…

  • EFC Welcomes New Manufacturer Member: MegaResistors Corp.

    EFC Welcomes New Manufacturer Member: MegaResistors Corp.

    April 18, 2025 Founded in 2008, MegaResistors is a proudly Canadian company specializing in the design and production of high-quality power resistors, including grounding resistors, braking resistors and resistive load banks, tailored for demanding industry and mission critical applications. Their extensive line of products helps them meet the needs of the industry, from crane control… Read More…